I have a daughter who when she wants, can be the sweetest girl alive. Unfortunately it's not that often. She much prefers to lie and be a royal pain in the ass. She's 13 and it's not getting better, it's getting worse. I'm not sure what to do anymore. We've taken away just about everything we can and it's not worked. We have tried the rewards thing which personally, I think is a crock. It doesn't work. Take away the rewards and the behavior changes. Besides, life doesn't give rewards for things you should do.
I have to spend my time following her around making sure she does things like brush her teeth, wash her body in the shower, etc. How sad is that? She does her chores like shit and continues to do them that way even when she does them over and over again. I just don't get it.
I've reached a point of not knowing what to do and I'm considering sending her to a boot camp this summer. What else can I do?
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Monday, December 4, 2006
Ted Bundy and other kids in my neighborhood
My neighborhood is full of children. Part of the reason we chose this neighbor was because of the vast amount of little ones running around. Kids for my kids to hang with. Play dates that didn't require driving more than 3 minutes (most times, less). It would be Heaven. Unfortunately I didn't realize we'd live near Ted Bundy.
Okay, so maybe he's not going to end up a serial killer but he is a sociopath. Let's call him Ted. Ted is a fourth grader. He's smart, I'll give him that. I'm quite confident he'll grow up to be a left wing liberal because he talks out of both sides of his er, uh...mouth. He's manipulative and a liar. He starts problems with other kids and then turns around and tells his parents the other children did it. He won't play at anyone elses homes because he's not in control and he can't determine who does what. If my children are at his house and don't do what he wants, he tells them to leave. It my children tell his parents he did something wrong, they call my kids tattle tales and tell them to leave. I'm about ready to kick some serious 4th grade ass. The other day I'd had enough and finally, after he continued to pick on my child, told him to go home. His mother actually got mad at me and I kindly told her what I thought about her and her child.
There's only so much a person can take. The parents are blind to the fact that their child is a lying little manipulating Ted Bundy. ALL of the neighbors see it. We've all discussed it. None of us have said anything because we know it won't make any difference.
I'd like to tell his parents the truth but it would just make things worse and I won't do that to my children. I know that, in the future when I see he's been arrested for whatever crap he finally couldn't get away with, I'll laugh my ass off and scream at the top of my lungs, "I knew it would happen one day!"
Okay, so maybe he's not going to end up a serial killer but he is a sociopath. Let's call him Ted. Ted is a fourth grader. He's smart, I'll give him that. I'm quite confident he'll grow up to be a left wing liberal because he talks out of both sides of his er, uh...mouth. He's manipulative and a liar. He starts problems with other kids and then turns around and tells his parents the other children did it. He won't play at anyone elses homes because he's not in control and he can't determine who does what. If my children are at his house and don't do what he wants, he tells them to leave. It my children tell his parents he did something wrong, they call my kids tattle tales and tell them to leave. I'm about ready to kick some serious 4th grade ass. The other day I'd had enough and finally, after he continued to pick on my child, told him to go home. His mother actually got mad at me and I kindly told her what I thought about her and her child.
There's only so much a person can take. The parents are blind to the fact that their child is a lying little manipulating Ted Bundy. ALL of the neighbors see it. We've all discussed it. None of us have said anything because we know it won't make any difference.
I'd like to tell his parents the truth but it would just make things worse and I won't do that to my children. I know that, in the future when I see he's been arrested for whatever crap he finally couldn't get away with, I'll laugh my ass off and scream at the top of my lungs, "I knew it would happen one day!"
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Hot for teacher
Did I just get any Van Halen fans to my blog? Sorry. This is about a teacher, not Van Halen!
My daughter is a freshman. She's extremely smart and was recommended for all AP classes. Because we thought she should have a life, we opted to put her in two and the rest normal classes. Her L/A class is actually a Comp class and requires a lot of reading. The book she's currently assigned to read is pretty boring by normal standards, I admit. But it's got to be read.
She lost the book. Swears it was last on her desk in her room. I suggested she borrow the book, check the library and ask the teacher for another one if the other options didn't work. She did the first two, but didn't bother to ask the teacher. Guess where her books been for the last two weeks? In her classroom. Her teacher's been waiting for her to ask for it. I emailed the teacher earlier today and let her know she'd lost the book only to find out some interesting information.
My daughter tried to cheat on a test.
My daughter tried to cheat on another test.
Both in the same class.
One would think the teacher would be upset and would initiate some sort of consequence for these actions, correct?
Nope. Not this teacher. Since my daughter is an excellent student, she is giving her a break. Which does nothing to teach my child a lesson.
Consequences from people other than her parents are so much more effective and this teacher blew the opportunity to teach a valuable lesson.
My daughter is a freshman. She's extremely smart and was recommended for all AP classes. Because we thought she should have a life, we opted to put her in two and the rest normal classes. Her L/A class is actually a Comp class and requires a lot of reading. The book she's currently assigned to read is pretty boring by normal standards, I admit. But it's got to be read.
She lost the book. Swears it was last on her desk in her room. I suggested she borrow the book, check the library and ask the teacher for another one if the other options didn't work. She did the first two, but didn't bother to ask the teacher. Guess where her books been for the last two weeks? In her classroom. Her teacher's been waiting for her to ask for it. I emailed the teacher earlier today and let her know she'd lost the book only to find out some interesting information.
My daughter tried to cheat on a test.
My daughter tried to cheat on another test.
Both in the same class.
One would think the teacher would be upset and would initiate some sort of consequence for these actions, correct?
Nope. Not this teacher. Since my daughter is an excellent student, she is giving her a break. Which does nothing to teach my child a lesson.
Consequences from people other than her parents are so much more effective and this teacher blew the opportunity to teach a valuable lesson.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Introduction to me
So this is a blog. I've never blogged before and honestly, I don't see the point. But I figured, why not? Everyone's got a blog these days and people read these things all the time so I might as well state my opinion on whatever comes to mind. Maybe someone will read it and actually agree with me. God knows most people at my house don't!
I like to consider myself a 'writer' and since I've officially been published (on the internet but hey, it's still published in today's world of tech!) I think others might consider me a writer too. Why not use this venue as practice for my writing?
My name is craspen. Not really, but for blogging purposes it works. I'm a 40 year old mother of three with a great husband. I do not work outside of the house. I work my ass off inside the house but only outside when I'm doing yard work. I used to work outside of the house and had a good job. I even made great money for someone who pretends to be smart. I was good at what I did and even enjoyed it some times.
Lately I've struggled with the whole SAHM thing. I'm bored beyond belief most of the time. I sunk into some form of pathetic depression just before turning 40 earlier this month because I have no life but I'm over it now. Funny how depression works. I felt like crying everyday and often did. Then one day I realized what an ass I was being, feeling sorry for myself and acting like my life sucked and I just stopped. The mind works in wonderous ways.
My life doesn't suck. I have a great husband (didn't I already say that?) and we live in 4100 square foot house with nice furniture. I've got fantastic friends. I drive a freaking Volvo and we went on 4 vacations last year. Okay, two were family reunions but we left the state so I count that as a vacation. Oh, and we're going on another one in two weeks. My life does not suck. I have nothing to feel crappy about and everything to be thankful for and I'm glad I finally realized that. I do not do well with the whole feeling sorry for myself thing.
You'll note this blog mentions the BoDeans. If you've not heard of them (which oddly, some people have not) check them out at http://www.bodeans.com or on Itunes. People call them 'rockability' but not knowing what the hell that means, I'd say no. They're a rock band with a twinge of country thrown in but in a good way. Greatest music ever created. Sammy and Kurt have fantastic voices and the musical talent amazes me. In my younger years I knew their tour manager and was able to hang out behind the scenes at concerts with a friend of mine. Even got to dance on stage once (or a bit off to the side, actually). I was first introduced to the band in 1995 by a boyfriend who turned out to be a total ass (we can call him Geno). Once we broke up I started listening to their music while working out, which I did often to forget about him. The music got me through that stupid time in my life and now I can't workout and listen to anyone else. Thankfully they've got a few CD's out. My favorite BoDeans songs: Naked. Bad for you. Only Love. Wait. I can't really pick just one favorite. Check them out. You'll love them.
A few other things about me: I'm blond. I'm short. I exercise. I look young for my age. I am anal-retentive (pervert, I know what you're thinking!) I have a child with a mood disorder who wears me out on a daily basis but is really a sweet child. I am a stepmother whose husband has custody of his children and I have raised them as my own. Their biological mother is an idiot. They know it. I am mom. I have a son. He's a con artist at 7 years old. My husband is hot. Women flirt with him daily. In front of me. Like I'm invisible. I find it funny. If he ever cheats on me he knows I'll tear his balls off and he's not stupid. I like being a second wife. I'm treated much better than the first. I have body image issues though I don't weigh more than 122 and I'm 5' 2". It's all about what you see in the mirror. I am outgoing but an introvert. Figure that one out. I have a few good friends but really no superficial friends. I can't do that. I'm not good at being fake. I wish I was because I imagine life would be a lot more interesting.
I watch soaps. Not all the time, but I do. . If you read the websites and read my columns on one, you'll figure out who I am but it's unlikely anyone who reads me will read this. I have two dogs and a cat. I had a German Shepherd who was like a child to me. He died 8 years ago and I still say good night to him every night.
I believe in spirits. I believe in Hell. I don't want to go there, but I believe in it. I think I was there once, during labor. It was not fun. I won't go back there again. Got my husband snipped for insurance of that statement too. My parents are older but still alive and I appreciate them. I don't smoke. I don't have anything major wrong with me except a bad back every so often. I love to spin. I was a cop. I hated it. I love roosters. Fake ones, that is. I am not a republican. I am not a democrat. I'm not liberal. I'm conservative. I don't talk about it with my friends anymore. I had a falling out with a friend about politics and it was stupid. I got the friend back and lost the desire to talk with the rest of my friends about politics. BUT...I fully believe the terrorists are a threat to us and I believe we're right to be in Iraq, but we'll never win. It's going to be an on-going battle and even if we leave, we'll never win. I believe there will be another attack on America and it will be worse than September 11th. Speaking of, I think the people on flight 93 are heros. I hope I would do the same thing if in that situation. I fear for my kids when they're older. What will our world be? I hate video games. I don't drink much because it stuffs me up and I get a massive headache. My husband loves it when I drink because if he gets me home at just the right time, I become a trashy whore he picked up at a bar.
I loved Journey in the 80's and still listen to them. I think I might still sleep with Steve Perry if given the chance. I lost my virginity after all of my friends did. November, 1984 at 18. Gosh, that's really old these days. I am honest with my kids about things most parents ignore. I have never done any drugs. I've never smoked pot. I had a brother that died from drugs and I'm afraid I'd like them if I tried them. I don't want to put my parents through that again. I have no tolerance for drugs. If my kids do them I think I'll kick their ass because I can't even begin to imagine going through what I went through with my brother. It was not easy. I still have two brothers. One is local and really a great guy but I think he's not long for this world. Too much stress, too much alcohol. My other brother has hated me most of my life. Thought I manipulated my father to be his favorite. Not sure how I did that as a kid and I can't verify he felt that way but I'm about 99$% sure he did. He's got two daughters now. He's really, really nice to me now and I think he realized it wasn't me. It's the nature of the father daughter relationship. I see if with my husband and my daughters. I see my connection to my son. It's the way God intended it to be, I'm sure.
Okay, I'm tired of typing now. Not sure I'll ever come back to this, but I'll try!
Peace.
I like to consider myself a 'writer' and since I've officially been published (on the internet but hey, it's still published in today's world of tech!) I think others might consider me a writer too. Why not use this venue as practice for my writing?
My name is craspen. Not really, but for blogging purposes it works. I'm a 40 year old mother of three with a great husband. I do not work outside of the house. I work my ass off inside the house but only outside when I'm doing yard work. I used to work outside of the house and had a good job. I even made great money for someone who pretends to be smart. I was good at what I did and even enjoyed it some times.
Lately I've struggled with the whole SAHM thing. I'm bored beyond belief most of the time. I sunk into some form of pathetic depression just before turning 40 earlier this month because I have no life but I'm over it now. Funny how depression works. I felt like crying everyday and often did. Then one day I realized what an ass I was being, feeling sorry for myself and acting like my life sucked and I just stopped. The mind works in wonderous ways.
My life doesn't suck. I have a great husband (didn't I already say that?) and we live in 4100 square foot house with nice furniture. I've got fantastic friends. I drive a freaking Volvo and we went on 4 vacations last year. Okay, two were family reunions but we left the state so I count that as a vacation. Oh, and we're going on another one in two weeks. My life does not suck. I have nothing to feel crappy about and everything to be thankful for and I'm glad I finally realized that. I do not do well with the whole feeling sorry for myself thing.
You'll note this blog mentions the BoDeans. If you've not heard of them (which oddly, some people have not) check them out at http://www.bodeans.com or on Itunes. People call them 'rockability' but not knowing what the hell that means, I'd say no. They're a rock band with a twinge of country thrown in but in a good way. Greatest music ever created. Sammy and Kurt have fantastic voices and the musical talent amazes me. In my younger years I knew their tour manager and was able to hang out behind the scenes at concerts with a friend of mine. Even got to dance on stage once (or a bit off to the side, actually). I was first introduced to the band in 1995 by a boyfriend who turned out to be a total ass (we can call him Geno). Once we broke up I started listening to their music while working out, which I did often to forget about him. The music got me through that stupid time in my life and now I can't workout and listen to anyone else. Thankfully they've got a few CD's out. My favorite BoDeans songs: Naked. Bad for you. Only Love. Wait. I can't really pick just one favorite. Check them out. You'll love them.
A few other things about me: I'm blond. I'm short. I exercise. I look young for my age. I am anal-retentive (pervert, I know what you're thinking!) I have a child with a mood disorder who wears me out on a daily basis but is really a sweet child. I am a stepmother whose husband has custody of his children and I have raised them as my own. Their biological mother is an idiot. They know it. I am mom. I have a son. He's a con artist at 7 years old. My husband is hot. Women flirt with him daily. In front of me. Like I'm invisible. I find it funny. If he ever cheats on me he knows I'll tear his balls off and he's not stupid. I like being a second wife. I'm treated much better than the first. I have body image issues though I don't weigh more than 122 and I'm 5' 2". It's all about what you see in the mirror. I am outgoing but an introvert. Figure that one out. I have a few good friends but really no superficial friends. I can't do that. I'm not good at being fake. I wish I was because I imagine life would be a lot more interesting.
I watch soaps. Not all the time, but I do. . If you read the websites and read my columns on one, you'll figure out who I am but it's unlikely anyone who reads me will read this. I have two dogs and a cat. I had a German Shepherd who was like a child to me. He died 8 years ago and I still say good night to him every night.
I believe in spirits. I believe in Hell. I don't want to go there, but I believe in it. I think I was there once, during labor. It was not fun. I won't go back there again. Got my husband snipped for insurance of that statement too. My parents are older but still alive and I appreciate them. I don't smoke. I don't have anything major wrong with me except a bad back every so often. I love to spin. I was a cop. I hated it. I love roosters. Fake ones, that is. I am not a republican. I am not a democrat. I'm not liberal. I'm conservative. I don't talk about it with my friends anymore. I had a falling out with a friend about politics and it was stupid. I got the friend back and lost the desire to talk with the rest of my friends about politics. BUT...I fully believe the terrorists are a threat to us and I believe we're right to be in Iraq, but we'll never win. It's going to be an on-going battle and even if we leave, we'll never win. I believe there will be another attack on America and it will be worse than September 11th. Speaking of, I think the people on flight 93 are heros. I hope I would do the same thing if in that situation. I fear for my kids when they're older. What will our world be? I hate video games. I don't drink much because it stuffs me up and I get a massive headache. My husband loves it when I drink because if he gets me home at just the right time, I become a trashy whore he picked up at a bar.
I loved Journey in the 80's and still listen to them. I think I might still sleep with Steve Perry if given the chance. I lost my virginity after all of my friends did. November, 1984 at 18. Gosh, that's really old these days. I am honest with my kids about things most parents ignore. I have never done any drugs. I've never smoked pot. I had a brother that died from drugs and I'm afraid I'd like them if I tried them. I don't want to put my parents through that again. I have no tolerance for drugs. If my kids do them I think I'll kick their ass because I can't even begin to imagine going through what I went through with my brother. It was not easy. I still have two brothers. One is local and really a great guy but I think he's not long for this world. Too much stress, too much alcohol. My other brother has hated me most of my life. Thought I manipulated my father to be his favorite. Not sure how I did that as a kid and I can't verify he felt that way but I'm about 99$% sure he did. He's got two daughters now. He's really, really nice to me now and I think he realized it wasn't me. It's the nature of the father daughter relationship. I see if with my husband and my daughters. I see my connection to my son. It's the way God intended it to be, I'm sure.
Okay, I'm tired of typing now. Not sure I'll ever come back to this, but I'll try!
Peace.
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